Sleepy Post

They must really think I'm going to bend to that whole deal they shoveled at me. C.D, his evil father, and lawyer that is. I picked up my mail today and got the papers they want me to sign. They certainly are impatient with all of it too. As if I haven't learned anything from signing the temporary custody agreement that he drafted! I got some really great advice tonight from a friend I had dinner with. I won't go into what it was just yet, but do have to say that it was useful advice about my case. Anyway, this was meant to be a long post but I'm just too tired. Long day! Will post more tomorrow or the next. Goodnight world.

~Ann

Kidney For Sale

This is the worst part of the night. After the kids leave, and I breathe for a minute, I just get bored really. I'm totally broke, so there is no going to see a movie or anything right now. I'm officially in the hole to tell you the truth. Over $71 in the hole, and that's pretty bad when you have to pay the bank seventy clams to still have nothing in your account. Anyone wanna buy a kidney?

A friend of mine sent me this, and I thought it was kind of funny. Enjoy.
pics by Ann

Crackheads and Cowboys

I finally have a working connection to the net again since I moved, so here we go:

I moved into my new place last Thursday, July 20th. The kids are getting used to it here I think, but this weekend is their first weekend here-so we'll see how that goes. I have to admit I can't stand apartment living, but I'm sure I'll get used to it soon enough. I've officially lost another 10 pounds, and Juan keeps calling me the "disappearing woman" every time I see him. (Speaking of, sorry about last weekend Juan-I don't know what happened either.)

So anyway, I get this letter in the mail from Cowboy's attorney last week that blew my mind. I seriously think that he and his attorney got together and smoked crack under her desk before writing it. I should preface this by saying that the offer I gave to him over the phone was this: he gets the house and equity in it, the Landcruiser, and my wedding rings for five thousand dollars. He said that it sounded great on the phone, but then I received the letter in which they offer me nothing for something. (Yes people, not the other way around.) In his letter he offers me the original deal of the five thousand dollars for the house, Landcruiser, my wedding rings, but wants me to waive post-separation support, AND alimony, AND waive any rights to further equitable distribution, AND the right to having the debt split between us. Let me tell you why this is an offer from a crackhead. When I sent my brothers to get my things, because King Cowboy said I couldn't be there or come in the house, I had emailed a small list of things for him to have ready for them to pick up. Instead of that list, he sent almost EVERYTHING there except for the bedroom suite. I knew something was up when I saw what he had sent because he has been all heels about this since the beginning, but now all of a sudden the guy wants to give me everything there? Riiiiiiight. I know he did it so that he could try to get out of paying alimony and post-separation support. Like it was some kind of trade off or something, and a trade off I didn't want or ask for. Last thought for this post:

Say no to crack Cowboy, and pass the advice on to your sky high lawyer.

The Email War

The Email War...

Hey,

I got the apartment, so I will need to pick up the furniture on Thursday at the latest. The only day Mikey has to move me in is Thursday night. -Ab
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Yeah... so have you gone back through the list? There are still the couple of things that we weren't in agreement with... sooo? dan
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I can't find it, what did we not agree on?
Ab
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enough... I'm pretty sure I was sending them from work but I'll check in the morning and forward whatever I have. -Dan
--------------
You might want to get off a little early if you can on that day because I'm going to need pack my things up and everything.

off the top of my head:
couch
Rosie's entire original nursery(very important to me, since I planned the whole thing)
bookcase
white end table
white table in foyer
triple dresser and mirror
kitchen table/chairs
handpainted trashcan/box my mom made me
metal stand in kids bathroom
handpainted wooden stool
the cookware you gave me for Christmas
the set of silverware I asked for
glasses you said I could have
all yellow and blue dishes with matching serving pieces
armoire
stereo
wingback chairs
all artwork, except pic about bed u wanted
exercise bike
vacuum
kitchen stuff we can decide when I get there
Obviously I can't think of everything since I haven't been in the house in so long. But I'm sure we can work things out. No worries ok?

Ab
------------------

Here's one of the biggest problems I have with all of this.... you and I are explosive around each other. I have no interest in arguing or fighting with you about any of this. However, I'm not going to let you run over me the way you are with the furniture. If you'll compromise, then this can move right along very quickly. However, I'm NOT going to drop what I'm doing and bend over backwards simply because you are too impatient concerning your move into the apartment. I'm sure you can't wait to get into it, but it won't be at my expense. First of all, I am not taking any time off work for this. Second, you need to remember that they kids technically live here and I'm going out on a limb to let you take all the furniture that I am because it is not my intentions to have them live anyplace other than with me. Thirdly, this "rushed" move is going to cause me to immediately spend some money getting the bunkbed situated for the kids. ie... I don't have a mattress for the top or sheets for that matter. So, how about taking a breather and slowing down just a bit. You do NOT have to move into the place immediately. To be honest, I can assist by bringing things to you and have no problem doing that. I just have no intention of allowing you to go through the house staking claims on everything you see and having to deal with all that tension... especially with the kids around. So, in my opinion, the best course of action is for me to bring things to you. I can do it quickly and will, if you let me. You've just gotta start compromising. That's all. Have a good night, -k?-Dan
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Listen, my Papa Dom is dying. He's now coughing up blood, and my mom is really hurting, and needs to be there. Just go with me on this, don't make it hard, please. Just remember what it felt like when Andrea died. Have some compassion. I don' t feel like going to court, but you are making it so we have to. I DO have to move in now because I'm paying RENT now, as I type. I know you don't care. This timeline is not yours. I need to get this done because my mother needs tobe with my Papa. I NEED to be with my Papa. I'm not trying to "walk over you" in any way. Thats just your past insecurities coming to light. I will be there tomorrow to pick up my things. If you dont' want to cooperate then I'm afriad you'll be staying home with the kids tomorrow. You want the car? Work for it. I don't care if it goes into collections at this point. I know you do, but I could care less. I have nothing to lose. You've already screwed up my credit completely. I better get a call from you, or else I'm calling Kitty in the morning, and WILL be there at 6 when you get home to get my stuff with a moving truck.

About your offer; you can have the long chest of drawers, but I get the tall chest. I have every right in the world ot go through my house to get my things. No questions asked. -Ann
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First, sorry about Dom...
As for this, you need to realize that I'm offering help.... have been since day one. You're just mad because its not 100% of what you want exactly the way you want it. You're not compromising at all and its not working for us. I'm not going to bend over backwards anymore for you with your impatience and general lack of respect for others. I'll go for your offer of chest/mirror for you taking the tall chest and armoire. However, I do not want you here and after tonight's confrontation I'm 100% convinced of that. Your attitude does not belong in my environment. Send the boys and I'll show them what to take. After the kids go to bed, I'll pack up more stuff like kitchen supplies/etc and bring them to you on Friday. I've already packed up the pathfinder full of shoes, bathroom supplies, jewelry, the small carpet cleaner, and two vacuums and I'll give you that stuff tomorrow morning. What you don't realize is that I'm going out on a limb on all of this for you because I personally think a judge would let me keep all of it.
As for the LC.... you need to consider reinstating your offer for me to buy you out of the house, car, and rings. My father is going to be here tomorrow and was bringing you a check for $5000 to settle this crap so that it wouldn't even have to wait until I refinance. Calm down and think about it. -dan
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No. I will be there to go through my own home or the deal is off. Think about it, what is most important to you? You decide. I don't care at all anymore. I'm sick of you walking all over me, and talking to me like a dog. I am caring for the children at my new home, and I have to have my things in order to care for them. If you want to drag your feet and try to play a control game with this, then you can care for them until I get all my things for my house. You decide. You cannot hold my things hostage. That is EXACTLY what you're doing. I don't trust you at all. I will be there with my brothers to pick up my things, and that is that. I WILL go into my house and pack my things, and that is that.

Deal with it, or we WILL go to court ASAP. Which could be before Friday. To CARE for the CHILDREN I need MY THINGS. Including my fair share of the toys for them to play with while they are with me. If you STILL want to give me hell about this, you can just tell your dad to rip that stupid check up. I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, I'VE ALREADY LOST EVERYTHING. Think about that. Don't you want your dad to have that car? Don't you want to get the house? Don't you want to get that ring to sell? Back off me, and just let me get my stuff-and you can have it all. I don't want any of your stuff, TRUST ME. I already "bent over backwards" and gave you THE BED AND HUGE CHEST WITH MIRROR. I'm the one that has to BUY A BED, so DON'T complain to me about a single THING. You make great money, and just spend $500 or more on a car. Don't talk to me about being broke. YOU'RE NOT BROKE. So stop with the dramatics about that. Its a bunch of crap. This could have been so much nicer like I first asked you for it to be. But you had to pull this stunt. Well, the ball is in you court, and that's where we are going if you don't back off. What are you hiding anyways? Its obviously something, or you're just paranoid. Take some of your anti-depressants, and I'll be there at six. -ann

Babies for the weekend

I am in heaven. I have the midgets here for the weekend, and they are being too cute tonight. I miss the whole bedtime routine so bad it kills me. Parents just bought a condo in Wilmington, so I think I will spend a lot of time there on my weekends off. I love the ocean. It makes me feel renewed. Anyways, I need to sleep. G-night Greensboro.

Sacared Space

Create a little Zen in your own home. This store is really great:

In Sacared Space

"If you truly want to grow as a person and learn, you should realize that the universe has enrolled you in the graduate program of life called loss."

-Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross

IF
by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run-
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

My grandmother, my dads mom, had open heart surgery a few nights ago. She had complications after surgery, and is now in the critical care unit. Part of me almost feels guilty for not having of ever gotten the kids to see her. But then I remember why, and I don't feel so bad. I know that sounds bad, but I just have a hard time understanding how she could stay married to him. My uncles and father have always taken care of her, so its not because she was afraid of her financial situation. You know what else gets me? That all these other people are having major health problems before him. People like him should go first, but I know God doesn't work like that.

No Zzzzz.

Another sleepless night is slowly creeping by. Humble pie doesn't taste very good at 2am. Milk please?

Ann factoid #384, #385, and #386

My favorite color is red.

I love chocolate and red wine together.

I can't sleep any more than about 5 hours. Usually less.

Caleb's first official painting! (On canvas that is...) He even asked to use a smaller brush at one point, and used his hands as well. SO COOL! =)
pics by Ann

My Flickr photo page

More to come soon, but this is my new place to store pics...THANKS BEN! =P

Ann's Picture Page

I CAN'T SLEEP. I just can't. In fact, I have been running on about 4 hours of sleep each night for a long time now. I don't do much but mess around on the computer, or clean, or get ready for tomorrow with the kids when I can't sleep. I've been thinking, (worrying), about getting some of my furniture/things out of the house, and I also am trying to get into a place for certain. I'm almost ready to throw up my hands and take anything at this point. Its a little bit frustrating to tell you the truth. My parents went to Wilmington for the weekend to look at some condo, and my brother moved back to Atlanta on Friday. So its been kind of a lonely weekend where I've been thinking too much about it all. I'm not sure about this whole custody evaluation thing. I feel like we should have gotten a final answer by now, but maybe I'm wrong. Its scary not talking to anyone though, and not knowing anything. I wonder what's going to happen? I worry too much don't I? Ha.

I want to start some kind of women's blogging group here. There are so many different, talented, intelligent women in this area that blog. I really think we'd have a good time together. Anyone want to second that? Anyone interested? SouthernRants, if you read this-what do you think about the idea? And Chewie, what about you? I think it could be a great little community that we need to tap into. Lots of awesome women here to inspire some greatness. We could meet the day after or before the MeetUp group. Just a thought. Hope some of you are interested. I'll even volunteer to start a MeetUp group just for us, and do the emails too. Anything to get us together. Goodnight everyone.

Two please...
pics by Ann

This is Caleb, my oldest, playing around with those tiny Mr. Potato glasses. Haha. How cute is he? =)
pics by Ann

This is a nipple that C.D sent with me to feed Rosie with. That is green mold covering the inside of it. It just made me think, if he's trying to be at his best in front of me and sends this to feed her with, then what could be happening when nobody is watching? Its just one of the things I think about at night while my kids sleep there with him.
pics by Ann

3 children in 3 years...yes my friends, this is how it feels.
pics by Ann

Ann factoid #382

I shaved my head when I was 18 and told my parents it fell out from a bad dye job. It actually looked kind of cool. Ha.

I love pomegranate soda!

Anonymous said...
Any custody news to share? Do you have a job yet? How's your back?
8:21 PM

I'm actually still waiting on the final news from the evaluator. But as soon as I know something, I'm sure to blog about it. I'm just antsy about the whole thing, I just want to know already. We've been doing this for too long now. I don't have a job yet, but am looking. Its hard because I have only a little job experience, and have not been working the past three years while I was pregnant. Know anyone that needs a secretary? Or maybe will train me a little? I was in the ER last night for my back. I actually had two disks bulging, and the one ruptured. That's the one I had surgery on. The other is still bulging, and is making a little lump that sticks out of my back. Gross I know. Ha. But they gave me some pain killers and some Prednisone, so I'll be fine. I'm supposed to go to the neurosurgeon this week to have it checked out again. I just pray to God I don't have to have surgery again. That would not be cool. =) Anyway, I've been having writers block for too long now. Hopefully it will go away, and I can write again. HEY BILLY-how do you get rid of it anyways?

Catching up on my BIG LINK, link

Ok, so I am a complete slacker when it comes to my blog lately...but here are some of the BIG LINKS I haven't put up yet:

http://www.ramblinprose.com/

http://www.marylayton.net/journal/

http://captivatedbymandie.com/weblog

http://mianita.blogspot.com/

I am really going to try to keep up now that things have settled down a little.

~Ann

Cleaning house

Hopefully, to Africa we go...

All three of my midgets getting a cold one from the sprinkler yesterday afternoon! =) 

She's baaaaaaack.

I dug my way out, and now I'm back. I've got to catch anyone who migh read up on things. Because there are lots of THINGS to get caught up on.

~Me

Yes, I've been gone for over a week, and with no posts to boot. So I sit here wondering what might happen if I said why I haven't been around. I mean, anyone who reads my blog knows too much already, right? Ha. Maybe this can be the one secret I have. Everything else is out there.