My heart plays this song all the time...

Adele - Set Fire to the Rain Lyrics

Gesso with Distress

Discovered Gesso with Distress via GayleAlstrom
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How to Alter a Photo - Altered Art Mixed Media Style with Milliande

Discovered How to Alter a Photo - Altered Art Mixed Media ... via GayleAlstrom
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How to use Color Wash

Discovered How to use Color Wash via GayleAlstrom
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DIY Re-Upholstery, Threadbanger

Discovered DIY Re-Upholstery, Threadbanger via Preeka
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New Paper Mache Clay Recipe

Discovered New Paper Mache Clay Recipe via Eesi
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Blick Presents: Amaco Glass Fusing and Slumping

Blick Presents: Amaco Glass Fusing and Slumping
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Basic DIY Book Binding Demonstration 혹시 직접 수작업으로 책을 만들어 보신 분들...

Basic DIY Book Binding Demonstration 
혹시 직접 수작업...
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How to solder jewelry - Jewelry Making

How to solder jewelry - Jewelry Making
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Needtobreathe- More Time

NEEDTOBREATHE "Washed By The Water" (Acoustic and un-mic'ed) @ Sioux Cit...

Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

My current life theme song...

Birthday Girl

I'm still 31 until exactly 3:02pm today!!! ;)

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Whatta you lookin at?

For the new year...

Found this journal at Barnes and Nobles a few days ago-its exactly what I've been looking for. Wearing my little Body Bug monitor has been really helpful throughout this past year, but I think I need to get a little more accountable with my nutrition. (Even if it is just to a piece of paper!)
;-)

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Look what else I made...

I just made buying your significant other, mother, aunt, sister, man crush, best friend, and/or your gay Uncle Louie the best present they've ever gotten...check it out:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=130470289196

Merry Christmas

...to all, and to all a good night.

Ps) I'm ready for my babies to come home.

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Look what I made...

Post Script)

If I wanted a life of mediocrity-I'd keep to myself those things which I chose to share in a very public light. Silence does not keep you honest.

Is it selfish...

...to always be looking for the magic of things? I don't think so. I think it's what keeps some of us alive.

Solitary days.

Every single moment feels like a desperate battle between good and evil. Life and death. The beginning of something, anything-and the end of everything.

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Ok, so I'm totally alone for Christmas this year...the 17th-26th to be exact. I think spending some time volunteering at the shelter will help take my mind off it-anyone else have any ideas???

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Lies.

The Damnwells sing this song. Epic:

I Will Keep the Bad Things From You
I will keep the bad things from you
I will keep a straight face honey
you can keep your last name if you want to
and I will give you all my money
I could take a plane right to you
if i could just stop running
what if all this was true?

I will keep the bank from calling
I will keep those bastards from you
I will keep your smile from falling
this time the casualties were few
'cause we kept the bastards brawling
we kept our hearts from view
this time we're problem solving

catch it while you can
its the feel good hit of the summer
catch it while you can
'cause there won't be another

you keep the band names coming
I'll make the jokes real funny
we'll keep the skeptics humming
and someone else will take the money
we'll keep the hamsters running
I'll be the sour in your tummy
who'll wipe the nose that's running

catch it while you can
its the feel good hit of the summer
catch it while you can
'cause there won't be another

I will sleep above the covers
I will love you like no other
I will be your dad and mother
I will give you older brothers
I will feed you fries with steak sauce
I will keep the price below the cost
I will lead the way from all is lost
I will keep the bad things from you

catch it while you can
its the feel good hit of the summer
catch it while you can
'cause there won't be another... won't be another...

I'll keep the bad things from you... I'll keep the bad things from you... I'll keep the bad things from you...

The Holidays

Somehow, I would like to be put into a medically induced coma from November 25th through January 2nd each year.

King of Saints

Everything is relative,

at least that’s what you say,

but I can smell it on your breath,

that intoxicating burn of pain.

If you only knew what I can do for you,

inside me-it’s innate,

to build a castle around your heart

and keep guard with my own veins.

I want to take you

I want to make you

feel like the king of saints,

or if it’s all just relative-

the ashes of all that’s done in vain. 

-AMS

Living not so loud at the moment....

Pneumonia. I've had it for almost 10 days now. This is the 4th time in 3 years. I don't smoke, only drink every once and awhile, workout 4-5 days a week. I don't get it, and frankly-neither do any of the docs I've seen. I suppose this makes for a little bit more of a melancholy me tonight. It feels very familiar. I like familiar. We are creatures of habit aren't we?

As one tends to do when they are housebound with an illness, I've been reflecting on things. This blog being one of them. I spent the better part of almost an hour skimming over past entries in past years-and I had an "aha!" moment. Looking back, it seems my original purpose in journaling a perpetual free-verse of my life transformed into something entirely different through the divorce process/custody battle with Dan. I am ashamed of myself at times. Most of the time really. I stopped being proactive in the betterment of my own life and my children's lives. I became consumed with anger, bitterness, desperation, and all the sordid familiarities that come with that particular state of being. I missed out on so many of the little joys of motherhood because I was so self-absorbed in my own hate. I am ashamed, and grieve over it in moments peppered throughout each passing day. Some days are better than others. Some days I feel victorious by creating laughter in my children's hearts. Others, I feel like I nothing more than a disappointing figurehead in their lives. Trying to find my balance has proven to be both liberating and debilitating. How is that even possible? 

So, now I've come full circle. I am very much so socially/emotionally/physically alone again. A very good friend (Brian) once told me that I needed to embrace my solitude before I would be able to truly share my life with anyone at all. Maybe he was right. 

Maybe.

How To Be Alone

Mr. Shompoo?

The best part of this email is not just the senders name, "Shampoo", probably the only English word they know-it's the really bad translation..."unscented email"?? Enjoy. I did.

Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon Perform 'History of Rap' Video

Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon Perform 'History of Rap' Video

For two white boys??? Awesome I'd say.

The Crew

The Midgets a few weeks ago at the park...everyone is getting so big...sigh.

Blah

I want to sleep sooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad...but my brain won't let me.

My Zazzle Shop

Look for a personalized gift at Zazzle.

Ouch

• Mood: Ouch-ish
• Listening to: Flogging Molly
• Reading: the warning labels on your medicine bottles.
• Watching: the second hand on the wall clock.
• Playing: duck...duck...taxidermy.
• Eating: my words.
• Drinking: Shut the Hell Up...on the rocks.

So...I drove my non-HMO having self down to my local ER this morning because I kept having dreams that the devil was trying to extract my kidney's with a corn cob. Yeah. Turns out I have a kidney infection, kidney stones, and fluid build up behind my left kidney. Who says dreams don't come true?

Eating cookies in a bubble bath...

...I highly recommend it. Especially after a really long weekend of moving. Maybe ESPECIALLY after a really long weekend of moving. Now instead of wondering if there are homeless crackheads passing by my apartment, I can actually SEE them! That wasn't exciting enough to warrant an exclamation point, I know-but in the grand scheme of my life at the moment it's pretty thrilling.

FunkyLoona...version 5.0

Ok I'm back...so what did I miss?? Shu got married and looked like he had an awesome honeymoon as well...where's Ben? How's David Hoggard and his family? Juan, are you still writing? Who's still doing Meetup's? Anyone? I could go on and on, but I guess I'd better start looking everyone up again. It's good to be in this familiar place again. I'm getting all sassy and posting a mini-scrapbook with updated pics of my midgets...oh how time has slipped past me so quickly. 

::Theme music from Welcome Back Cotter::

So yeahhhhhhhhhh...about that whole "Happily Ever After" thing? Not so much.

The End.

And she lived happily ever after.

The End.

We've got our final custody hearing on the 27th of this month. Its weird to look back almost 2 1/2 years ago and see how much has changed. I will be ending this blog in the weeks to come, and starting a new one-for my new life. I just want to thank all the amazing Greensboro bloggers who became my friends, and supported me through the past two years. I know some people say personal blogging is silly, or a waste of time, but it has opened many doors in my heart and mind. I think this community is amazingly creative, caring, thoughful, and smart. Those who know me will know where to find me and my new blog. Its been a wonderful 2 years. Thank you everyone. =)

Dorks'R Us

Stick'm Up Truie...

For my long lost friend WAITINGFORVIZZINI =(

George bush beatbox

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Poem by Truitt =)

I wrote this poem for Annie sometime ago. She has the original and only copy, so I am doing this from memory. :)

Angel Without Wings
In times through waste and drift and sand
See arcadias of love waiting in your hand
Songs of life, wanting and love
You truly have fallen from Heaven above

For angels are not homesick when you are near
They are among their own and hold you dear
Your beauty exceeds the ages, for centuries to come
Completing my being, my life has begun

Arias fill every breath you take
Exhaling melodies that make me ache
You occupy my every dream, my every thought
You are pure happiness, all I've ever sought

I've waited a lifetime, perhaps even more
To find you here at life's open door.