30 Ways to handle Stress

• Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
• Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
• Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
• When someone says "have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.
• Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
• Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a candygram.
• Make a list of things that you've already done.
• Dance naked in front of your pets.
• Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to preschool as if nothing was wrong.
• Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
• Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
• Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
• Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
• Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
• Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to your boss' wife.
• Pay your electric bill in pennies.
• Drive to work in reverse.
• Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the "Flintstones" during that important finance meeting.
• Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
  Refresh yourself. Put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
• Tell your boss to blow it out of his toupe and let him figure it out.
• Polish your car with ear wax.
• Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
• Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
• Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
• Braid the hairs in each nostril.
• Write a short story using alphabet soup.
• Lie on your back eating celery....using your navel as a salt dipper.
• Stare at people through the lines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
• Make up a language and ask people for directions to vW/{KoY(d[WkY.