He loves me not...

To answer your question D. Hoggard, I hate 6pm-7:30am every Monday through Thursday, and every other weekend. See, that's when my husband gets my three children. I absolutely ache inside when I have to pass them off to him during the week, usually in their pajamas, and just so he can put them to bed 2 hours later. I hate that he has filed for sole custody for the children, and the only good reason I can think of is so he doesn't have to pay me child support. You see, D. Hoggard, he is not a stupid man. He knows that I will do anything to not let my kids go into daycare. So, if he gets custody of the kids he's probably out of paying for childcare most of the time. So there is even more money he gets to keep, right? He knows this too. It also bothers me that he went to their pediatrician office for only the second time in his life just last week. It was because I had the flu, and I couldn't take them. My oldest, the 2 1/2 year old, has been having speech therapy/occupational therapy for 2 years now. Dan has never sat through a single session, and they are weekly/monthly sessions. And there is a list of other things that I see as very important FYI type things he should know. I'm the Mommie, D. Hoggard, you know? I just know what my babies need. I just know. I just feel like this is his way of trying to "punish" me for leaving him. As if to say, "I'll show you". I hate that I've started second guessing myself. Wondering if maybe that laundry I didn't do, or the dinner I didn't cook made him do what he did, so in essence its my fault? I hate the lonely nights with nobody to talk to, not like thats any different than before, but at least I knew he was in the garage or in the house. I hate wondering how I will provide for my children, and give them the things they deserve. But most of all I hate that I have failed at marriage. Thank you for showing interest in my life at the moment. It is appreciated.