The things we have come to fear the most.

I can take pain. There has been points in my life where people have asked me to rate whatever pain I was feeling, or tell me about the pain I was experiencing about a certain injury, ect. I have never known how to answer those type of questions honestly. None of this makes sense, I know. Well, it doesn't make sense because I'm not really talking about physical pain exclusively. Just pain in general. Its so far beyond pain, that I don't think there is a word for it. When people turn their backs on you, and you never feel like anything more than some kind of indigenous slave to the rest. This post isn't supposed to make sense to any of "you". Not that its helping a whole hell of a lot for me. My writing is nothing but burnt up paper. Everyone is right. He is going to get my babies. I will be left with nothing. And my heart will burn up inside me. If he takes them away. I have nothing. That is what he wants. He wants to bury me under the rocks, and have the ocean of time erode my color away. control is everything to him. I feel so sorry for that kind of existence. I want him to shine as a father. That in turn will make them shine too. Today was not a good day. C'est la vie. N'est pas?