Congrats Mike Sheley!!

Congrats to my little brother Mike for graduating from Elon! I love you Mikey, and am so proud of you. I know you are going to be something great in life. You are so awesome!

Love,

Sis

What a long day. I just put the kids to bed, and I am totally beat. My older brother and my sister-in-law came in town, and the kids got to play with my nephews for a few hours. Its really nice because then the kids get tired and go to bed easier. I have them until 5 tomorrow, so we're thinking about going to the Children's Museum tomorrow-depending on the weather. If its really nice out we'll just go to the park instead. Enough of my mundane blabbering, I'm off to bed...

I sit in my apartment this morning, drinking my tea, and just very sad. I had my midgets this past weekend, and we had such a great time. But this morning there were no little faces peering at me in the morning to wake me up. No little scratchy voice from Barrett asking for "cerall" for breakfast. Nobody calling for "mommmmmyyyy" to get them from their crib. No curly nest of soft, blond hair brushing against my face in the early morning. I miss my babies. I wonder if I am a failure to them. Am I a failure to myself?
I am not getting enough hours at the shelter, so I have looked into a second job as a secretary. I need to be able to provide for them on my own. Its so frustrating to not be able to take them to those fun, silly places like Chuck-e-Cheese's or even just McDonald's these days. I hate money, and I hate falling into the materialistic trap this world spews at me day after day. I wish I could just live off a farm in the mountains with my midgets...away from all these problems.

My mini-me

This is my little mini-me and I this past Turkey Day...whatta cutie pie! 

Papa Dom

My Papa Dom went to be with God on this past Saturday morning. I just got back from Wisconsin where the funeral was. It really was an awesome service. He would have really loved it. He truly was a remarkable man. I LOVE YOU PAPA...

Rockbridge County, VA

One of the most beautiful places I've ever been to... 

There is a fine line that we Bipolars walk in this world. Some people its between life and death, some say it is simply sanity and insanity, but I say its between embracing or not embracing the diagnosis. That, being said though, is much easier for one to say than do. There are so many things to take into consideration with the disorder. You absolutely must take your prescribed medication, and at the correct times as well. You have to balance your diet, and get plenty of rest. You also have to learn to eliminate the unneeded stress in your life. There also seems to be a similar tale of money woes throughout the diagnosed community. Whether its from spending too much money during a manic high, or not being able to work during the depressive lows, we seem to always be in a state of severe financial flux. I, personally, have been blessed with really wonderful parents who have the means to help steady most of my ups and downs. But what happens when you don't have people around you available to help? The answer has been presented to me in the glaring form of the homeless community I work for. I can say that working at the shelter has presented me with a new opportunity as well-sharing my story with those I come in contact with that have Bipolar Disorder there. I have seen both sides to that fine line, and am still here. I manage a job, sharing custody of three children, and the disorder. Sometimes I still go through rough patches, but the point is that I'm still here. My heart goes out to those I come in contact with who don't take, or can't get meds. It is the one factor that I see over and over again with people: the lack of proper medication. One more HUGE reason to have free public healthcare and affordable medication for all...