I was told that I could end up with between $700-$1000 a month from Dan. Even with me getting whatever crappy paying job that I would get, (I got pregnant and married in college), how am I going to do this? I refuse to make my children go to daycare, while I go to work. There is just no way I'm sending them. I want to raise my children, and see their milestones. (Don't start crying just because I dissed the whole daycare thing people!) There has to be some way to make this work from home, so I can be there with the kids. WOMEN do it all the time, right? The question is, how? You can't feed 3 kids selling Mary Kay or Tupperware. Well, maybe you can, but I'm not a saleswoman, and have no desire to win a pink caddy just for hustling mascara. Time to get creative about being creative I guess.

12 Comments...not Spam-ments.:

chelley123 said...

Man that really is ridiculous! How do they expect you AND 3 kids to live on that! Can your family not help with childcare at all? I don't know what I would do without my mil's help because I totally agree with you about daycare!

Anonymous said...

Chelly, they don't expect HER and 3 kids to live off of that.

That $700 to $1000 a month is called child support and is FOR THE KIDS, not her.

As to putting the kids in daycare, or when or if she gets a job, that is HER decision. I do think that if she did put the kids in daycare that Dan would be responsible for part of the cost in addition to child support. I was.

I know it is a bad situation and I sympathize, but Dan's responsibility now lies with his children, not her.

I suggest (for what it's worth) that she put the kids in some type of daycare and find a job.

The $700 to $1000 a month is for the support of 3 people, not 4.

mbondur12 said...

I have to agree with the second comment. My ex works very hard and provides for herself and our kids, and I help out with stuff for the kids, but as for her, she is on her own.

It is a bad situation and no one wins when it happens (I know from experience).

I do have a question though. What is a mil? Is it like a nanny or something?

Anonymous said...

I think a mil is a "mother in law" but I may be wrong

Anonymous said...

I think child support is based on (after tax) income. Unless Dan is taking home a lot of money $700-$1000 may be reasonable.

Think creative. Putting three kids in day care may be too expensive anyway. For yourself, find out how much child care would cost for three. Arm yourself with facts, in writing.

You need to be proactive and start weighing your options.

What can you do from home?

Is your house/apartment big enough to watch other kids during the day? I pay $700/month for child care in a top licensed facility. Depending on state regulations maybe you could watch two additonal children in your home. If your house isn't big enough could you move someplace larger and offset the rent difference with income? I think you can watch a certain number of children without a license. Call the state.

Could you find a job in a day care that would take your children? Not all assistants are certified.

Could you work second shift and get an in-home sitter? Do you have an extra bedroom? Trade the room for babysitting.

You need to attack this problem with strength and be positive. You don't want your lack of a job or money to be a negative in deciding your custody arrangement.

Do you have a friend that needs child care? Could you trade off?

Start brainstorming. Sit down with a friend or relative and start imagining all of your options.

You need to be self-sufficient. What if Dan looses his job, or becomes disabled?

Good Luck. Coming up with a plan can be very empowering.

chelley123 said...

First off a mil is a mother in law NOT a nanny. I can not afford a nanny. Second daycare is not a place I would ever put my child! They will not care for your child the way you would. They can't they are in charge of way too many children and make crap money.
Ann and her husband made a decision that she should be a stay-at-home mother and now wants to change his mind. She is not refusing to work she is trying to figure it out! BTW why are you attacking me by name when you are not even posting yours anonymous?

Sorry Ann for the drama!

FunkyLoona said...

ALRIGHTY then people, lol...thank you ALL for the advice, constructive criticism, and encouragement. I love all the idea's and the way it makes me look at things differently sometimes. GREAT. Now everyone take some PROZAC and hug. (jk) =P

mbondur12 said...

I just had never heard of that term before, that's all.

I have to also agree with the second set of "anonymous" comments. If she ends up with something for herself, that is usually termed as spousal support (alimony), and the amount she is being given may or may not be fair. FWIW, I mostly agree with you about daycare. It is shameful that most institutionalized daycare is so poor.

For good or bad, she is as just as responsible for the financial support of those kids as he is.

Anonymous said...

BTW, the two anonymous postings are from by two different people. Mine was the second.

FunkyLoona said...

I just want everyone to know that the figure I quoted was a total figure of child support, alimony, and post-separation support. At least thats what I understood it to be. Anyways, I'm just a little scared of the job market since I'm not exactly the most marketable employee on the planet. I haven't worked in about 4 years. Hmmmmm...maybe some kind of certificate at GTCC would be a good idea? Anyways, thanks for all the comments again. ~Ann

Anonymous said...

Check out


On-line courses you can take from the comfort of your home. Don't think a certificate is awarded, but the knowledge is what you need.

Just signed up for one myself, after losing a job I had for 24 years, last week.

Think your job prospects are bad, try finding one at 52 with only one skill, (which I have done for 30 years), which is quickly moving overseas along with the furniture and textile jobs.

And Chelly, how did I attack you in my post above??

FunkyLoona said...

Don't worry about Chelley, she's just a little fiesty sometimes. =)

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