10.06.2004

30 Ways to handle Stress

  • Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
  • Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
  • Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
  • When someone says "have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.
  • Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
  • Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a candygram.
  • Make a list of things that you've already done.
  • Dance naked in front of your pets.
  • Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to preschool as if nothing was wrong.
  • Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
  • Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
  • Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
  • Leaf through National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
  • Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
  • Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to your boss' wife.
  • Pay your electric bill in pennies.
  • Drive to work in reverse.
  • Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the "Flintstones" during that important finance meeting.
  • Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
    Refresh yourself. Put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
  • Tell your boss to blow it out of his toupe and let him figure it out.
  • Polish your car with ear wax.
  • Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
  • Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
  • Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
  • Braid the hairs in each nostril.
  • Write a short story using alphabet soup.
  • Lie on your back eating celery....using your navel as a salt dipper.
  • Stare at people through the lines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
  • Make up a language and ask people for directions to vW/{KoY(d[WkY.

4 Comments...not Spam-ments.:

Anonymous said...

I surely enjoyed your "30 ways to handle stress" and it came at a really low time in my life.
See, I am bipolar and while some of the time, things like this wouldn't help at all, there ARE other times where it helps a great deal! I wanted to thank you for sharing. You seem to have a wonderful sense of humor! Go with it!
thanks, Lisa

That Girl said...

I'm so glad that it could at least make a little bright spot in the darkness that occasionally comes with that disease. I wish you the best of luck Lisa.

~Ann

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