7.20.2005

The Email War

The Email War...


Hey,

I got the apartment, so I will need to pick up the furniture on Thursday at the latest. The only day Mikey has to move me in is Thursday night. -Ab
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Yeah... so have you gone back through the list? There are still the couple of things that we weren't in agreement with... sooo? dan
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I can't find it, what did we not agree on?
Ab

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enough... I'm pretty sure I was sending them from work but I'll check in the morning and forward whatever I have. -Dan
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You might want to get off a little early if you can on that day because I'm going to need pack my things up and everything.

off the top of my head:
couch
Rosie's entire original nursery(very important to me, since I planned the whole thing)
bookcase
white end table
white table in foyer
triple dresser and mirror
kitchen table/chairs
handpainted trashcan/box my mom made me
metal stand in kids bathroom
handpainted wooden stool
the cookware you gave me for Christmas
the set of silverware I asked for
glasses you said I could have
all yellow and blue dishes with matching serving pieces
armoire
stereo
wingback chairs
all artwork, except pic about bed u wanted
exercise bike

vacuum
kitchen stuff we can decide when I get there
Obviously I can't think of everything since I haven't been in the house in so long. But I'm sure we can work things out. No worries ok?

Ab

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Here's one of the biggest problems I have with all of this.... you and I are explosive around each other. I have no interest in arguing or fighting with you about any of this. However, I'm not going to let you run over me the way you are with the furniture. If you'll compromise, then this can move right along very quickly. However, I'm NOT going to drop what I'm doing and bend over backwards simply because you are too impatient concerning your move into the apartment. I'm sure you can't wait to get into it, but it won't be at my expense. First of all, I am not taking any time off work for this. Second, you need to remember that they kids technically live here and I'm going out on a limb to let you take all the furniture that I am because it is not my intentions to have them live anyplace other than with me. Thirdly, this "rushed" move is going to cause me to immediately spend some money getting the bunkbed situated for the kids. ie... I don't have a mattress for the top or sheets for that matter. So, how about taking a breather and slowing down just a bit. You do NOT have to move into the place immediately. To be honest, I can assist by bringing things to you and have no problem doing that. I just have no intention of allowing you to go through the house staking claims on everything you see and having to deal with all that tension... especially with the kids around. So, in my opinion, the best course of action is for me to bring things to you. I can do it quickly and will, if you let me. You've just gotta start compromising. That's all. Have a good night, -k?-Dan
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Listen, my Papa Dom is dying. He's now coughing up blood, and my mom is really hurting, and needs to be there. Just go with me on this, don't make it hard, please. Just remember what it felt like when Andrea died. Have some compassion. I don' t feel like going to court, but you are making it so we have to. I DO have to move in now because I'm paying RENT now, as I type. I know you don't care. This timeline is not yours. I need to get this done because my mother needs tobe with my Papa. I NEED to be with my Papa. I'm not trying to "walk over you" in any way. Thats just your past insecurities coming to light. I will be there tomorrow to pick up my things. If you dont' want to cooperate then I'm afriad you'll be staying home with the kids tomorrow. You want the car? Work for it. I don't care if it goes into collections at this point. I know you do, but I could care less. I have nothing to lose. You've already screwed up my credit completely. I better get a call from you, or else I'm calling Kitty in the morning, and WILL be there at 6 when you get home to get my stuff with a moving truck.

About your offer; you can have the long chest of drawers, but I get the tall chest. I have every right in the world ot go through my house to get my things. No questions asked. -Ann

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First, sorry about Dom...
As for this, you need to realize that I'm offering help.... have been since day one. You're just mad because its not 100% of what you want exactly the way you want it. You're not compromising at all and its not working for us. I'm not going to bend over backwards anymore for you with your impatience and general lack of respect for others. I'll go for your offer of chest/mirror for you taking the tall chest and armoire. However, I do not want you here and after tonight's confrontation I'm 100% convinced of that. Your attitude does not belong in my environment. Send the boys and I'll show them what to take. After the kids go to bed, I'll pack up more stuff like kitchen supplies/etc and bring them to you on Friday. I've already packed up the pathfinder full of shoes, bathroom supplies, jewelry, the small carpet cleaner, and two vacuums and I'll give you that stuff tomorrow morning. What you don't realize is that I'm going out on a limb on all of this for you because I personally think a judge would let me keep all of it.
As for the LC.... you need to consider reinstating your offer for me to buy you out of the house, car, and rings. My father is going to be here tomorrow and was bringing you a check for $5000 to settle this crap so that it wouldn't even have to wait until I refinance. Calm down and think about it. -dan

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No. I will be there to go through my own home or the deal is off. Think about it, what is most important to you? You decide. I don't care at all anymore. I'm sick of you walking all over me, and talking to me like a dog. I am caring for the children at my new home, and I have to have my things in order to care for them. If you want to drag your feet and try to play a control game with this, then you can care for them until I get all my things for my house. You decide. You cannot hold my things hostage. That is EXACTLY what you're doing. I don't trust you at all. I will be there with my brothers to pick up my things, and that is that. I WILL go into my house and pack my things, and that is that.

Deal with it, or we WILL go to court ASAP. Which could be before Friday. To CARE for the CHILDREN I need MY THINGS. Including my fair share of the toys for them to play with while they are with me. If you STILL want to give me hell about this, you can just tell your dad to rip that stupid check up. I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE, I'VE ALREADY LOST EVERYTHING. Think about that. Don't you want your dad to have that car? Don't you want to get the house? Don't you want to get that ring to sell? Back off me, and just let me get my stuff-and you can have it all. I don't want any of your stuff, TRUST ME. I already "bent over backwards" and gave you THE BED AND HUGE CHEST WITH MIRROR. I'm the one that has to BUY A BED, so DON'T complain to me about a single THING. You make great money, and just spend $500 or more on a car. Don't talk to me about being broke. YOU'RE NOT BROKE. So stop with the dramatics about that. Its a bunch of crap. This could have been so much nicer like I first asked you for it to be. But you had to pull this stunt. Well, the ball is in you court, and that's where we are going if you don't back off. What are you hiding anyways? Its obviously something, or you're just paranoid. Take some of your anti-depressants, and I'll be there at six. -ann

8 Comments...not Spam-ments.:

Anonymous said...

It's too bad your situation has to be like this. The whole thing sounds very confrontational from both sides.

I just pray for your kids, and that they won't be too scarred by all this ugliness.

chelley123 said...

ROFL at Dan's arrogance but I also see that you are reaching a breaking point. I hope you can keep it together long enough to rid your self of him and make a new happy home fopr you and the munchkins.

mbondur12 said...

What I see here is 2 people who both want their way 100%, and neither one of them are getting it, so we're left with stuff like this.

Second, you need to remember that they kids technically live here and I'm going out on a limb to let you take all the furniture that I am because it is not my intentions to have them live anyplace other than with me.

That statement is absolutely ridiculous.

Unless you are a completely certifiable nut (and you're not), no court will pull away a mother from 3 small kids completely, and he knows this.

Let me let both of you in on a little secret. Neither one of you is going to get everything you want out of this situation. I know from experience.

If you all had been able to compromise and listen to each other from the beginning, it would have never come to this bitter of an end.

I know nothing of the arrangement of your house, but your list seems fair, at least at first glance.

Doesn't he or you have a friend or a mutually agreeable outside person that can supervise your moving if he absolutlely has to go to work?

I know my dad helped keep the peace when I moved my stuff out last August.

It's ugly I know. Just remember your kids when you want to yell at him and snap his head off at the shoulders.

Anonymous said...

Did you get your things?

mbondur12 said...

Yeah, what ended up happening?

FunkyLoona said...

Read the next post.

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