Hehehe...

 

The Armys New Weapon

You're getting a first hand look at the Armys new weapon in the war on terror.... 

New Pics

These are just some new pics from Nicole's first weekend out with me. She and her friend Darby came out with me to listen to a little Irish music down at Mc'Couls. She's staying for the entire summer, and may be staying the rest of the year. Its pretty awesome to have her here to help with the kids. It really makes things like going to the Children's Museum a lot more fun! Anyhow, hope all is well with everyone.  

I'm falling
down
this hill
this mountain
falling from the sky
in that pretty white dress bought in summer
paid for with sanity and blood
I'm falling down
with your bricks on my back
Its what you dearly want
in your dreams I'll never make it back
beating me down
under earth
under sky
in that pretty white dress bought in summer
now burned black.

This is the coolest mama I know...aren't 'cha LisaLisa? =P 

Speak

I feel the rush of your being

p

a

s

s

by me

you don't see me

at least very much of me

I reach out to touch you

but catch a falling leaf instead.

Congrats Mike Sheley!!

Congrats to my little brother Mike for graduating from Elon! I love you Mikey, and am so proud of you. I know you are going to be something great in life. You are so awesome!

Love,

Sis

What a long day. I just put the kids to bed, and I am totally beat. My older brother and my sister-in-law came in town, and the kids got to play with my nephews for a few hours. Its really nice because then the kids get tired and go to bed easier. I have them until 5 tomorrow, so we're thinking about going to the Children's Museum tomorrow-depending on the weather. If its really nice out we'll just go to the park instead. Enough of my mundane blabbering, I'm off to bed...

I sit in my apartment this morning, drinking my tea, and just very sad. I had my midgets this past weekend, and we had such a great time. But this morning there were no little faces peering at me in the morning to wake me up. No little scratchy voice from Barrett asking for "cerall" for breakfast. Nobody calling for "mommmmmyyyy" to get them from their crib. No curly nest of soft, blond hair brushing against my face in the early morning. I miss my babies. I wonder if I am a failure to them. Am I a failure to myself?
I am not getting enough hours at the shelter, so I have looked into a second job as a secretary. I need to be able to provide for them on my own. Its so frustrating to not be able to take them to those fun, silly places like Chuck-e-Cheese's or even just McDonald's these days. I hate money, and I hate falling into the materialistic trap this world spews at me day after day. I wish I could just live off a farm in the mountains with my midgets...away from all these problems.

My mini-me

This is my little mini-me and I this past Turkey Day...whatta cutie pie! 

Papa Dom

My Papa Dom went to be with God on this past Saturday morning. I just got back from Wisconsin where the funeral was. It really was an awesome service. He would have really loved it. He truly was a remarkable man. I LOVE YOU PAPA...

Rockbridge County, VA

One of the most beautiful places I've ever been to... 

There is a fine line that we Bipolars walk in this world. Some people its between life and death, some say it is simply sanity and insanity, but I say its between embracing or not embracing the diagnosis. That, being said though, is much easier for one to say than do. There are so many things to take into consideration with the disorder. You absolutely must take your prescribed medication, and at the correct times as well. You have to balance your diet, and get plenty of rest. You also have to learn to eliminate the unneeded stress in your life. There also seems to be a similar tale of money woes throughout the diagnosed community. Whether its from spending too much money during a manic high, or not being able to work during the depressive lows, we seem to always be in a state of severe financial flux. I, personally, have been blessed with really wonderful parents who have the means to help steady most of my ups and downs. But what happens when you don't have people around you available to help? The answer has been presented to me in the glaring form of the homeless community I work for. I can say that working at the shelter has presented me with a new opportunity as well-sharing my story with those I come in contact with that have Bipolar Disorder there. I have seen both sides to that fine line, and am still here. I manage a job, sharing custody of three children, and the disorder. Sometimes I still go through rough patches, but the point is that I'm still here. My heart goes out to those I come in contact with who don't take, or can't get meds. It is the one factor that I see over and over again with people: the lack of proper medication. One more HUGE reason to have free public healthcare and affordable medication for all...

I haven't been able to write lately because I've been so busy with work. Things are going ok here. I'm just working a lot down at the shelter, and on two days off I have a week I get the kids. So needless to say my schedule is packed in full. I get the kids this weekend, so I hope it will be nice outside so we can go to the park or something. Anything to keep them occupied and happy! =P Everyone is sleeping at the moment, so its nice and quiet. Hope the world is well in Greensboro this afternoon.

~Ann

A charity worth taking a look at...

Check out RAINN: The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline and carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice.

V-Day is a global movement to stop violence against women and girls.

V-Day is a global movement to stop violence against women and girls.

Go HERE to find out more about it, and what you can do to help.

"Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." —Eleanor Roosevelt

Good times

These were some very good times...

 

This weeks BIG LINK is one of my favorites: Billy the Blogging Poet =)

Wonder Woman

I am officially naming Michele Greensboro's Wonder Woman...check out her awesome page here: http://chosenfast.blogspot.com/

Redneck Pickup

"Pickup truck? We don't NEED no stinkin' pickup truck!"

 

Nice.

Nice...

 

Bella Notte

Well I'm still alive. I've made it through the bulk of my training at Weaver House, and I can say I do still love it. I am absolutely exhausted to the bone, but I think with a week of normal days on and off I'll be good as new. I think I'm really going to love it there and love the people I work with. Its actually a really relaxing environment besides the occasional weird blow up by a client or two. All in all its very rewarding I have to say. You give love to the people and they give love back. Its God's way of holding up a mirror to my own soul I think. Very cool. Bella notte.

Floor

Gather the sick

bring forth the poor

with a true heart

wash their feet with your hair

and let their hearts rest easy on your shoulders.

Goshen Pass

Great pic that either Rob or I took the morning we left from camping in VA. I just can't wait to get back there. It was absolutely amazing. Go if you can! 

Truth

 

Donations?

To all my fellow Greensboro Bloggers:

If you happen to have the time this week or this upcoming weekend, please think about making a donation of any of the following to the Weaver House at G.U.M:

Bath towels

Blankets

Pillows

Individual sized hand/body lotion

Individual sized toothpaste

deodorant

Alcohol Wipes

Shaving razors

Shaving Cream

Dixie cups

Baby Powder

I know there is more that we are in need of, but those were just off the top off my head. Thanks guys. Sleep well Greensboro,

A

In The Beginning

In the beginning there was me,
there was I,
there were my little brown eyes,
and my
little brown pigtails
and the click-clack-click-clack
click
clack
of my roller skates down the drive.
In the beginning there was me,
there was you,
and your curly beard,
remember?
I used to ask if it was real.
Like maybe you were Santa Claus,
'cause I just knew you were
keeping
a
secret.
In the beginning there was me,
and you
were
my
grandpa
with the "magic rubber folding ears",
and I could almost touch the sky
on your shoulders.
'Cause we all knew
it was just that far away.
In the beginning there was me,
there was I,
there were my little brown eyes,
that
I
shut
so tight,
(be still! be still!)
pretending to still be asleep,
the night I found out
what
your secret
was.

This was my very first post on this blog. I wrote it especially for it. I just wanted everyone to see it who hadn't. Sorry I'm not around much at the moment again. I've been working 8-9 hour days for the past week and will work another 7 more days just like that. Blah. I am tired, BUT I still am loving my job completely. This weekend was not really fun because I was supposed to have the kids and it ended it that I had to work all weekend. Cowboy was none too happy about that one-let me tell you. But when I got off today I was able to get Rosie for some "one on one" time-which was so very cool. Hopefully I can get Barrett and Caleb in for the same this week between shifts. Anyway, I'm off to bed-I'm exhausted. Talk with you again soon world...

A

THE BIG LINK

I just wanted to say that I reallllllllllly got into this weeks BIG LINK...

Troubled Waters

I step slowly into the tide
foot
then smooth calf
to my steady knees
the cerulean water pushing against me.
The sand deceitfully slides past my feet
back into the pools and waves.
Calling for me to lay my troubles down
Calling for the child inside me to come and play.
For she has never aged,
and remembers my innocence well
Remembers at my marvel
Remembers
Oh how she remembers!
and if I could just quiet my mind
she'd tell...

Good Reading

Seen but not heard: Chemically creating 'complaint' girls

Being Jane!

This is what its like BEING JANE.

G.U.M

So I finally got "the job" at the shelter. I was so excited, and surprised I have to say, to have gotten it. I think they just got tired of me bugging them, lol. Anyway, my first week has gone pretty well so far. No major incidences to speak of. I'm just learning the whole paperwork system, and how to deal with "clients" on a day to day basis. Its cool, I love the people there. All of them. Its a huge outlet for me, and totally feeds me on a spiritual basis as well. Very good stuff. Anyways, I will be talking about what I can, when I can. I hope all is well with you guys-because everything is looking so very up here. =)

~Ann

Yae for kiddies!

This is not going to become an ongoing argument with mister Cowboy Dan. I still have much to talk about and a lot of updating to do. I have the kids tonight and tomorrow, and I also have to work. Where I have landed a job finally is the big news...I'll try to post tonight after the childrens be a-sleepin'. =)

Open letter to Cowboy Dan

Dearest Cowboy,
You are nothing but a lier and theif of life. Go spread your filth somewhere else. You're not allowed to comment here, and neither are your parents. (Catch that Bill?? Good boy. Now GET A LIFE and read something like The Times or something, not your EX-daughter-in-law's blog...) Oh, and tell your mother to lay off the wine before three in the afternoon from now on. That was a HUGE glass, and its just not safe to have someone drunk or "buzzed" around three small children like that. If she can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen and back to Florida. Don't drink huge glasses of wine until you don't notice the heat anymore...

the system

Digging my strong legs and feet into the soft earth,
I will try my hardest to stop the world from turning.
I'll pull her in the opposite direction my little loves,
so that our day together never stops burning.
We can play ball, and color wax pages for hours, roll in the grass,
whatever your fancy.
I'll pull and I'll dig right in,
the day will never end
and those silly grown up words "joint custody"
will never mean anything to you '
my sweet
sweet
babies.

Poverty in Iraq

Poverty in Iraq...pictures by Rob. 

Little Girls in Iraq

Little Girls on the side of the road in Iraq. Pictures by Rob. 

THE FIRST BIG LINK OF 2006!

Welcome to THE BIG LINK this week! =)

Drive In

This isn't some kind of show
no black and white
slow picture screen of my life for your eyes
close up on my heart
please splice it all out
I don't want your eyes any longer.

Fun with MS Paint

 

Blahness

I have been urged to shut my blog down by my parents because of threats from both the Cowboy and his father. They have called me "dumb" for writing my thoughts and feeling about the whole divorce. His father says, "doesn't she know that's what lawyers live for?". At this point I'm more annoyed than worn down, but I'm sure that they will keep on trying for the latter. They are trying to use anything and everything I say against me. So I can say in all truth now that they are the most evil, God-less, obsessive, deranged people I could have ever thought existed. I fear for my children. I fear that they are going to wake up someday and see the actions of Cowboy and his father, and think that its normal to treat people like they do. Its very sad, and aggravating to say the least. I want to protect my children from people like these, but then again I want them to have as whole of a family experience as they can-even growing up in a divorced home. This whole situation now just makes my head spin sometimes. I don't understand why we can't just let the past BE just that-the past. We need to work together to raise these beautiful kids in the most normal environment we can. It just blows my mind that they work so hard to separate me from the kids. I never thought I would see the day when a father tries to separate his children from their mother so much. He's trying his hardest to alienate the children from me by playing off the fact that I happen to be diagnosed Bipolar. He wants to run me into the ground with his hate and evil anger. The emails he sends are nothing short of disgusting lies and non-truths. He truly is a Dr. Jekyl and Mister Hyde, and so has become his father. I just feel sorry for the children, that they have to be put in the middle of Cowboy and his fathers misdirected hatred. So sad, so sad...

Update of my mini-me =)

 

My second little man...the angel

 

My first little man....

 

Happy Birthday to Meeeeeeeeee

Yeah, yeah, yeah...so I'm saying it to myself...someone has to. lol. =)

Hi Slade!

I never knew fishing could take so much thought Slade, hehe =P 

And we will ask for ONE MIIIIIIILLLION DOLLARS....ahe ahe aheee. 

Bad days.

My phone got shut off today....hrm. All that is next is a pretty blue chunk of blue ice to fall out of the sky and kill me. Nice.

My heart... 

Untitled II

Silent night, so
silent night
I feel you fill the room.
I taste your tears,
I bathe in your apathy.
I see your dress fall to the floor
as you step into my head
you shake and shiver
your fingers quiver
as you watch the picture show
that plays behind my eyes....

Hrm, that one just isn't done yet. Writers block. Grrrr.

Happy EARLY Birthday

...to The Shu.

Kuwaiti Sunset by Rob

This is an aweseom picture from Rob the first night he was in Kuwait. It is a great shot of the sun setting with soldiers in the background. I just love his vision. He truly is genius through the eye of a camera...at least to me.

 

Say Hello to the Cowboy's Daddy

Yes its true, the Cowboy obviously was spawned by a bigger, much more evil entity. That entity has a name, but we will just call him Wee Willy for short, no pun intended of course. I think he'd like that. Anyway, Wee Willy reads my blog quite a bit now I see. He is also demanding that I take all the pictures I have put up of my kids off my blog. I would be willing to also bet he things he has some kind of inside info just by reading this thing too. Wait, maybe I should just call him Super Spud. He is sort of shaped like a potato, and well...the IQ pretty much goes along with that. lol. Wee Willy Super Spud it is then...good thinking people. I don't know what I would do without you!

To my love...

Flaxen gold
Blood crimsons shadow
Nights shadow
My mind still slow dancing with your every memory.
Come home and be mine love,
I'll never want for you to be anyone other than yourself love,
Don't be afraid love,
Follow me love,
because we sleep until the same nights starry sky.

Untitled

Settled in the comfort of your skin
I will sleep so soundly
comfort where unsettling water has been
so very long before you had arrived.

So vivid
So soothing
Intriguing and sensitive
so
FULL
of life...thank you for simply being. 

Work Work Work

Update: I got a little part time job at Buffalo's on Battleground. Yae for wings. Haha. Come in and tip me well, I'm poor. =P

My dad

This is my pops, Dougie Poo. Everyone says I look just like him. Hrmm. I don't see it. 

Dirty bug

Another picture Rob took in Iraq recently. I think its absolutely amazing the emotion it conveys. A little like Rob himself I suppose. Great guy I must say.

 

I both love and hate this picture. It shows Robs pure innocence and fear at the same time. It brings out the "mother bear" in me, I guess you could say. I want to protect him from whatever may be making him worry. Thats my baby. Any sandy little troll messes with him and I'll make it my duty to mess with them. I don't worry babe, you'll be home soon enough, right?...